Regrets
by Blunt Brunette
Summary: Fabian muses about his feelings for Joy and regrets his harsh actions. This is slight Jabian, not official but hints of it and slightly angsty. There is also no Joy bashing in this drabble.


_**Author's Note: I'm huge, huge fan of Joy. I just love her character so much and I'm also a huge fan jabian as well as jeroy. I was really hoping after Nina left that jabian would become canon but sadly it did not. And since there seems to Beverley and jabian or jeroy fabrics for that matter around I've decided to write some of my own. So more will be coming in the future so feel free to put me on author alert (you don't have to just giving you a heads up). I'll finish what I want to say below if you're still curious and didn't skip over the not entirely. **_

_Thoughts_ _**in case you were wondering and it wasn't obvious enough haha**_

_**Disclaimer: doesn't belong to moi **_

**oOo**

**Regrets**

Fabian wasn't sure how he felt about Joy distancing herself from Sibuna. He knew it was his fault and wanted to change it but didn't know how.

Although Joy saying she wanted to give them a try freaked him out, he knows he should've let her down easier. But truth was Fabian felt confused. Confused about his lingering feelings for Nina. Confused about how comfortable he is with Joy. Confused about whether or not the butterflies he gets in in his stomach has anything to do with Joy. Confused about the mystery they're trying to solve again.

Fabian couldn't help but feel like he was betraying Nina. _You shouldn't feel like that. Nina broke up with you remember, in a letter no less. That just shows how little she really cared about you. _The little voice in the back of his head said rooting for him to rethink his feelings about Joy, _but she was also someone you instantly connected _with Fabian mused to himself. _You have that same connection with Joy. She's been your best friend for years and as much as you hate to admit, you felt something when she kissed you. A spark you never felt while kissing Nina and that scared you. _The voice kept insisting.

Fabian couldn't help but agree. Him and Nina were great friends and when they kissed it was more of a tame, comforting almost, kiss. With Joy there was a fire in the pit of his belly…passion. It's why he got so angry, he was guilty for having these thoughts while he was trying to get back with Nina someone he kept insisting on he wanted to be with._ But did you really want her?_

These thoughts plagued Fabian as he finished getting dressed and headed to the dining room to eat breakfast.

When he walked in, the last chair left was one across from Joy. He noticed she avoided any possible eye contact with him when he sat down. He needed to fix this. He needed Joy to forgive him. He missed her so much, she was his confidante and best friend._ And maybe…maybe after I've finished my quest of finding forgiveness, I can show her just how much she means to me by…by asking her out on a date and finally admitting I feel more then friendship for her. _

"Joy, can you pass the juice please?" Fabian asked. As he grabbed it from her, he made sure that eye contact was made, "Thanks," he said smiling at her brightly.

Joy blushed slightly at how Fabian was smiling at her. "No problem." She said quietly smiling at him slightly.

Fabian was happy he finally got her to look at him and even smile. He made progress.

_So how are you going to go about fixing the mess you made?_

**oOo**

_**So I just really wanted Fabian to regret turning down Joy so harshly. Or at least have a revelation that he feels the same way as her. Jabian is my otp so #sorrynotsorry if you hate Joy because I lerve her. I'm pretty sure I have a crush on her basically lol.**_

_**So the jabian fics I mentioned up there are, I might make this a multi-chap fic of unrelated drabbles idk yet we'll see but I do plan on creating an AU where Joy ended up back in sibuna and basically rewrite the whole 3rd season with Joy as the main character and of course jabian is the endgame but I'll probably add some jeroy for the drama. Be on the lookout for that if you want. And that's it for now I send you all lots of love! **_

_**Xoxo,**_

_**~Blunt Brunette **_


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